The Thing So Many Women Put Last

This is something I see again and again with women.

Brilliant women.

Capable women.

Women who run households, businesses, families and communities.

Women who prioritise their health, their friendships, their yoga class, their children, and their ageing parents.

And yet when it comes to their sexual wellness, it quietly drops to the bottom of the list.

Not because it doesn’t matter.

But because somewhere along the way many women absorbed the message that it wasn’t that important.

Or worse.

That it was optional.

Sexual wellbeing often becomes the quiet thing women promise themselves they’ll return to later.

The Quiet Deprioritisation

Sexual wellbeing isn’t just about sex.

It’s about your relationship with your body.

Your pelvic vitality.

Your sense of pleasure.

Your connection to your own aliveness.

And yet many women treat this entire part of themselves like an old drawer in the house.

You know the one.

The drawer where things get put because you’ll “deal with it later.”

But later often turns into years.

Sometimes decades.

A Gentle Pause

Take a moment.

When was the last time you truly checked in with this part of yourself?

Not through expectation.

Not through performance.

But through simple curiosity about what your body might need.

How Did This Happen?

Most women were never educated about their bodies in a way that centred their pleasure, curiosity, or agency.

Instead, we were taught about:

• periods

• pregnancy

• prevention

• performance

Very little about embodied pleasure.

Very little about pelvic health.

Very little about how our sexuality evolves as we move through our 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond.

So, women quietly adapt.

They tolerate discomfort.

They accept fading desire.

They normalise disconnection from their pelvis.

Not because they want to.

But because no one told them there was another way.

The Cost of Ignoring This Part of Ourselves

When sexual wellness is neglected, it doesn’t just affect the bedroom.

It affects how a woman inhabits her body.

Her vitality.

Her confidence.

Her sense of being fully alive.

The pelvis is not some isolated anatomical region.

It is a centre of creativity, energy, and emotional intelligence in the female body.

When women disconnect from it, life can start to feel flatter.

More mechanical.

Less vibrant.

The Turning Point

Something fascinating often happens in midlife.

Women begin asking different questions.

Not the questions we asked in our twenties when we were trying to be everything for everyone.

But deeper questions.

Questions like:

What do I want now?

What would it feel like to actually live inside my body again?

What have I been putting off when it comes to my own pleasure and wellbeing?

Many women feel called back into a deeper relationship with their bodies, what I often describe as Fembodiment™, a return to living from within the body rather than outside of it.

This is where something beautiful begins.

Not a reinvention.

But a re-embodiment.

Sexual Wellness Is Not a Luxury

Looking after your sexual wellbeing is not indulgent.

It is not frivolous.

It is not selfish.

It is body care.

Just like moving your body.

Just like nourishing your nervous system.

Just like tending to your emotional life.

Your sexuality is not separate from your wellbeing.

It is woven through it.

An Invitation

What if sexual wellness didn’t sit at the bottom of the list anymore?

What if it became part of the way you care for your body, gently, curiously, and without pressure?

Not performance.

Not expectation.

Just a return to a more bodyful relationship with yourself.

Because the truth is this:

Your body has not forgotten how to feel.

Sometimes it is simply waiting for you to come back to it.

If this blog stirred something in you, it may be a sign your body is asking for attention rather than more silence.

Most women were never taught how to care for their sexual wellbeing.

But you can choose differently.

Before you close this page, you might gently ask yourself:

Where does my sexual wellbeing sit in my life right now?

At the top?

Somewhere in the middle?

Or quietly waiting at the very bottom of the list?

No judgement.

Just honesty.

Your sexual wellbeing deserves more than the bottom of the list.

You can begin your return through:

Fembodiment™ Awakening Bespoke 1:1 Mentoring or by joining a RealTalk Women’s Circle.

Jenni Mears

Holistic Sexologist

Clinical Hypnotherapist

Author & Speaker